Older men gay stories
Silver daddies: Why do adolescent adult men like older partners?
You’ve probably heard of “sugar daddies.” Or “the internet’s daddy,” Pedro Pascal. Stereotypes of this widespread term abound, but what does it actually signify to be a “daddy”? And who is most likely to engage in age-gap relationships, and why?
Daddies of a Different Kind, published today by UBC sociologist and assistant professor Dr. Tony Silva (he/him), analyzes the stories of gay and bisexual daddies and asks why younger adult men are interested in older men for sex and relationships.
We spoke to Dr. Silva about his findings.
What is a daddy and why were you interested in studying them?
Many people think of a daddy as a desirable, confident older gentleman who may be twin with a younger match. The term has gained popularity in recent years, and while it is used in the context of heterosexual, gay or bisexual relationships, research across the Western world shows that age-gap relationships are far more prevalent among gay and bisexual men than any other community. I was interested in finding out why, and learning more about the older men who name or are perceived as daddies, and what it means to them.
For this b
They lived a ‘double life’ for decades. Now, these lgbtq+ elders are telling their stories.
In the 1950s, when Ray Cunningham was just 19, he served in the Navy as secretary to the personnel officer aboard the USS Ranger. He was responsible for preparing discharge and reassignment paperwork, and sometimes he would hold to dishonorably discharge men for entity gay.
“It was difficult,” Cunningham, now 82, told NBC News. “At that age I realized that I was queer , and it was just difficult to know that people were being discharged for the similar thing that I was in my life.”
“What bothered me the most was having to chat to the guys that were existence discharged, and they were not in a good mention of wellness anyway, because at that time, it was illegal or considered mental problems to be gay,” he said.
Cunningham spent the next four decades in the closet until he and his partner of 30 years, Richard Prescott, 78, came out after retiring in their 50s.
The two men, who are now married, shared their stories as part of “Not Another Second,” a new multimedia art exhibit in Brooklyn, New York, that features 12 LGBTQ+ elders, many of whom spent most of their lives in the proverbial cl
Keywords
Robinson, Peter. "6 Sex and older gay men". Sex and Diversity in Later Life: Critical Perspectives, edited by Trish Hafford-Letchfield, Paul Simpson and Paul Reynolds, Bristol, UK: Policy Press, 2021, pp. 103-120. https://doi.org/10.56687/9781447355427-010
Robinson, P. (2021). 6 Sex and older gay men. In T. Hafford-Letchfield, P. Simpson & P. Reynolds (Ed.), Sex and Diversity in Later Life: Critical Perspectives (pp. 103-120). Bristol, UK: Policy Press. https://doi.org/10.56687/9781447355427-010
Robinson, P. 2021. 6 Sex and older gay men. In: Hafford-Letchfield, T., Simpson, P. and Reynolds, P. ed. Sex and Diversity in Later Life: Critical Perspectives. Bristol, UK: Policy Squeeze, pp. 103-120. https://doi.org/10.56687/9781447355427-010
Robinson, Peter. "6 Sex and older gay men" In Sex and Diversity in Later Life: Critical Perspectives edited by Trish Hafford-Letchfield, Paul Simpson and Paul Reynolds, 103-120. Bristol, UK: Policy Press, 2021. https://doi.org/10.56687/9781447355427-010
Robinson P. 6 Sex and older gay men. In: Hafford-Le
On the verge of my 37th birthday I celebrate a small over a year of partnership with a man 26 years my senior.
This is not a new phenomenon for me—coupling with older men. It is a preference that kept me in the closet until I felt I was safe enough to express it at 23. I had never been with another man sexually before then. In fact, I had only ever been with women my age. That’s what was expected of me, if not the celibate single or religious life, in the conservative, working-class Catholic familiar in which I was raised.
It was in this environment that I was taught to grip the body in suspicion and to avoid sex. Masturbation, I was told, is a mortal sin. “Impure thoughts” were grounds for confession. By fifteen, in the throes of pubescent sexual urgency, I broke down and committed the ultimate transgression for a Catholic boy that age: Not only did I masturbate for the first time, I did so to a picture of another man. I was terrified. My sexual fantasies were all about pro-wrestlers and production stars with chiseled jaws and hirsute bodies. I went to confession sometimes multiple times per week at that stage of my life, living in continual fear of this layered confidential and